The holidays are in full swing and you already need a break from feasting, family, and going broke to read some good books. I've got a few holiday reads to get you through through until the new year:
Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
Some people (me) would argue you have not fully experienced the holidays in America if you’ve never worked in retail. Stressed folks in rotten moods while also spending money is a terrible combination for retail workers to confront day-to-day. For someone like me who has worked about three-too-many retail holidays, listening to Sedaris’ Santaland Diaries has become an annual holiday tradition that dredges up laughs with a side of PTSD.
Sedaris’ dryer than dry delivery guides us through the misadventures of Crumpet the Elf in Macy’s Santaland. It’s an amusing tale of cynicism, apathy, and Christmas cheer. The essay has become so popular that Sedaris has somewhat disowned the work in one of those too cool for school moves that lets those of us in the hoi polloi know it’s worth a read.
Dang, that was awfully cynical of me.
The rest of Holidays on Ice includes a mix of essays and short stories, most of which are funny. If you’re looking for a humorous and slightly subversive take on the holidays, you can never go wrong with David Sedaris.
The Mistletoe Murders by P.D. James
I read most of this one cold December night on a train traveling from New York City to Philadelphia. It had been a terrible day, and I was tired and alone in my train car dangerously close to midnight. I was not in the festive spirit that particular season, and so maybe it was the perfect night for me to read most of this short story collection that mixes Christmas and murder into a cocktail both sweet and sour.
Do you feel all warm and cozy when reading an English mystery? P.D. James was among the best of those English authors who wrote sturdy puzzles with a twist of quirk.
The stories here were written over the long course of James’ career for various publications looking to pad their December issues. Collected here, readers are given the chance to compare their families at Christmas with the families in the stories. Depending on how your holiday is going you might even debate whether some of the motives were a tad justified (ah, the most wonderful time of the year indeed).
Or maybe you just need a break and mysteries are your favorite distraction. In that case, leave the kids with grandma, uninvite that uncle from dinner, ignore your braggy cousin with their “perfect” family, and go read this book for a few hours while they all argue about politics.
Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton
The last few Christmases have sucked. Are you stressed? I’m stressed. Lots of us are stressed. And even though this little guide was written in a pre-pandemic world, that doesn’t mean there aren’t tidbits of solid advice to be gleaned here.
Need to quell the anxiety leading up to the holidays? Kempton can help with that. How about dealing with the madness of that week from Christmas to New Years? Yup, some help for that, too. And, what I most appreciate in this book, is the emphasis on mindfulness to cope with succumbing to the long Winter after the holidays end.
A quick read with a peaceful message, Calm Christmas is a helpful handbook for navigating the tensions of the most wonderful time of the year.
Secret Santa by Andrew Schaffer
This novella markets itself as “The Office” meets Stephen King. Not exactly. I would suggest: A love letter to 80s paperback horror fiction with a hint of “Gremlins 2.”
It’s set in the 80s. It’s schlocky. It’s kinda funny. That’s enough of an elevator pitch for me.
Published by Quirk books, a publisher that specializes in subversive pop-culture, this meta horror story is set at a prestigious publishing house in 1986 New York City. It’s more of an ideal version of the 80s (our main character interviews for a professional job while wearing stir-ups under a skirt) but it works as the setting for this very specific era of publishing. The jokes that pepper the narrative are regularly self-aware, with sly references to the boom and bust of paperback horror fiction while skewering those 20th century odes to toxic masculinity that were long considered “literary.”
The horror is over the top, but never enough to turn the stomach. The story is focused and short, with a build-up that begins with introductions before running head-first into the climax with little in-between. There are no extraneous exposition dumps, and I appreciated the author’s urge to cut down on the red herrings and side trips and to just let the audience skip ahead to the good horror bits. It’s what we’re here for, right? That, and something to read in-between Christmas shopping trips.
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